Jesus Dot Com

Use-ta be in the old days
When sinners went to pray
They had to get down on their knees
At the end of every day

But now the year¹s 2007
The rapture¹s round the bend
There seems to be no place to go
If you need you a friend

One day while surfing the internet
I acted on a whim
I steered away from Youtube
And I went and Googled Him

There was hundreds of thousands of results
Of every different kind
So I clicked on the first one
And Lord, what did I find?

Now Jesus has a homepage
I go there all the time
Salvation is much easier
now that Jesus is online
Log on to redemption
You could win a CD rom
Just click all of your sins away
At Jesus Dot Com

His homepage is real professional
And it loads up nice and quick
So let Jesus come into your heart
Just give our lord a click

You can hang out in the chat room
Or sign the guest book page
And the interactive crucifixion game
Is appropriate for every age

You can send an email to your Savior
He’s sure to write you back
You can print out the Lord’s FAQ
If your bible learnin’s slack

Check out an mpeg video
Or a holy MP3
Yes, onward Christian Surfers
And fire up your PC

--------------

(spoken, Johnny Cash style)
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be disconnected
He maketh me to log on to stable internet service providers
He leadeth me through the maze of complicated setup procedures
Yeah, though i walk through the valley of porn and spam
I will fear no spyware
Thy frequent updates and lack of pop-up windows comfort me
Thou anointeth my tower with RAM
My CPU runneth over
Surely wireless hotspots shall follow me all the days of my life
And i shall dwell on the homepage of the lord forever
____________

You know life¹s full of tribulations
And times are often rough
I put Jesus on my default page
So he’s there when I boot up

There¹s lots of flash animation
And a virtual 3D cross
And a weekly podcast sermon
For those that are feeling lost

There’s a hotlink for forgiveness
A membership form to fill
There’s a simple quiz that lets you know
If you’re doing God¹s will

Don’t seem to work with Microsoft Explorer, though
Cause it’s done crashed on me twice
Just goes to show that Jesus knows
Bill Gates is the Antichrist

Yes - Jesus has a homepage
I go there all the time
Salvation is much easier
Now that Jesus is on line
Log on to redemption
There’s an iPod you could win
And i cried out in ecstasy_
http colon slash slash www dot _amen